This blog post is about how to stay cool in highly charged, stressful situations, whether it’s with family, lover, or at your job. This video and the techniques in it will change your life. 

Why are there certain people or situations that trigger us or cause us to blow a gasket? It’s usually from something from the past that we don’t even know is triggering us. It’s something rooted in the subconscious that’s unseen to us. It’s like weeds, you know, the roots. They go below the ground, below the surface of the ground and you can’t see them. 

When we lose our cool or we blow up, we usually feel guilty or we might feel ashamed. There’s just too much mental energy that goes into being triggered, but using NLP and hypnosis, we will root out the triggers and we give you time to take a pause where you can actually be aware that there’s a trigger in play.

Now this might take some practice, but you’ll notice if you’re really committed to being cool and calm that it’s worth the time. So we’re just going to do something here with you. Play along with me.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and just remember an experience or a time where you may have been triggered by something or someone, or a certain situation. Now, driving always does that to me. I’m triggered like that, but just see that situation in your mind and be there. Imagine it there’s any sounds, anything like that. Keep your eyes closed. 

So now you can see yourself in the experience clearly, it’s clear in your mind. You notice that you’re getting triggered and what the situation is that’s happening. Is there anything physical showing up, any sounds, anything like that?

Good. Now check to see if that picture is in black and white, or if it’s in color, maybe it’s a moving picture. See where that picture is in your vision. Is it closer? Is it far away? 

What you’re going to do now is to push that picture in your mind, push back from it. So it gets smaller and smaller in your vision, almost down to where you can’t even see it. With this exercise, you’re literally getting distance from that trigger and you’re gaining perspective, right? Literally there is distance. 

Think of a time now when you’ve experienced the feeling of patience. Can you pull up a time where you were patient, you felt good. Like you handled the situation very well. Just remember that time right now when you were patient, accepting. Pull it up right there in front of you and notice what is happening? 

What do you see? What do you hear? How do you feel? How do you notice that this is feeling good? 

When the situation is over and whatever that feeling was, I want you to turn the temperature up on it. So if the picture was in color, the colors are brighter. If they’re in black and white, the images are sharper. If it’s a moving picture, you can see it in high def. Really feel those feelings and bring those feelings up. 

Bringing that picture closer in your field of vision, brighten it up, turn it up, turn up the volume. So those good feelings radiate from with you. 

Now you begin to notice that you can look at the experience of triggers more objectively. There might be new insight. What happens if you were to ask yourself, What was the positive intention of myself and the other person? See beyond what your mind thinks at that moment, because it’s usually not thinking very clearly.

Okay, so you’ve been triggered. If you can think of the positive intentions, you’ll start to put yourself into the other person’s shoes and it’s going to give you more compassion for them and for yourself. Now, when you feel like you’re being triggered, you know now that there is a gap, right? A gap where you can use these techniques to either stave them off or quickly catch yourself and just have patience.

Think of a time that might be coming up where you might get angry or a conversation where you might get triggered. It might be in the car, wherever. Now there is a gap between the stimulus and our response. It’s in this gap that we choose our response. And we know that it happens quickly with practice. We can totally change our response and create a new outcome that works. We can literally retrain our minds to have a more appropriate response that will enable us to be more resourceful. 

I hope these NLP techniques have helped you. You can try them and practice them. You don’t have to be perfect. Take it one day at a time.